Maureen Renfro's Blog: July 2012

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

How to Keep Your Long-Distance Relationship Smoking Hot

One of the reasons that young people prefer to hook up casually is that they are hesitant to get emotionally invested in a relationship with an expiration date on it. The school year ends, people study abroad, job offers come from different cities, as do acceptances to graduate school. Most people can expect to be fairly mobile until their mid-20s. Not surprisingly, that’s when dating is most likely to occur, as the idea of finding “the one” begins to take hold.

In the meantime, though, what if you fall for someone? It might not be practical, but sometimes romance does happen in spite of everyone’s best efforts not to catch feelings. Or maybe you desire a level of emotional intimacy that casual hooking up just doesn’t offer. That’s a good thing. You need practice at relationships. The person you are into now may not have babies with you, but there’s still a lot you can learn and enjoy from each other. You’re both into it, you go for it, D-day arrives. What next?

Sometimes couples decide to try and keep it going, knowing the pitfalls. Relationships are hard work, and long-distance relationships take a special kind of effort. If you get lazy and stop working on them, they die. Occasionally, they just fade away and no one gets crushed. More often, though, they die a hideous death as one or both partners mourn the end of something that could have been great if only they lived nearer one another.

How can you succeed in a long-distance relationship? It helps a lot if the separation is finite – you know you will (or could) live in the same place at some future date. If you do decide to try and make it work, there are key strategies that are fairly obvious:

• open and frequent communication
• honesty
• trust
• sharing information about your separate lives
• visiting whenever possible

The secret to a great long-distance relationship is great sex. That means tech sex.

I once heard a guy complain that he didn’t think it would work because he had “needs.” Who doesn’t? What do you think your right hand is for?  Hand + phone = good sex, at least theoretically. Nowadays you younguns have all kinds of incredible technology available to you, and you can have a pretty decent sex life with someone even if you live halfway around the world. A relationship can’t thrive forever on long-distance sex, but it can go a long way in between real visits. The hardest part sometimes is beginning. It can feel a little intimidating getting started, but it is very rewarding, so stick with it. Sometimes long-distance sex is even more awesome because you take risks and let yourself go in a way that you might not when you are together face-to-face.

Instant Messaging

• Good way to dip your toe in the pool, but lacks the immediacy of verbal/audio communication.

Cell Phone

• Send photos. You can send a progression of pictures in real time as you get aroused, and of course they can be viewed again later when you’re not in touch.

• Dirty texting. Always fun, especially at times when it’s not safe! This is a great way to build anticipation for later.

• Vibrator. There’s a new iphone app from that turns the iphone into a vibrator. The vibrations are not very strong, but the developers’ intent is that you’ll use it shyly while on the subway lol.

Skype Sex

• This is the biggie, as far as I’m concerned. Talk dirty face to face. Use the webcam and your imagination to turn your partner (and yourself) on.

Synching Up Porn

• You can find porn that is relationship-oriented, appealing to both men and women. Watch it on your laptops at the same time while on your cell phones.

Internet Sex Toys

• Sounds like the technology has a way to go here, but there are devices that communicate through software online.

• The most popular combination is the Interactive Fleshlight for him and the Sinulator (rabbit vibrator) for her. When he manipulates the Fleshlight, she feels it in her vibrator. It currently requires interacting with a goofy dashboard on your computer, but the whole field of teledildonics (ridiculous word, I know) is growing rapidly.
Obviously, none of these approaches are limited to long-distance couples. If it intrigues you, try it out.

I would be remiss if I didn’t offer a word of warning here. Remember, Google is forever. It’s very common for women to be filmed with their consent for private use, and then for the film to be uploaded to the internet without their knowledge. Even someone you know extremely well may be capable of betraying your privacy at some future date. Personally, I would recommend keeping your face out of any really sexy videos or photos. Even if it’s anonymous online, all it takes it for one person to recognize you and tag it. Search engines will then find it whenever your name is Googled.

Kristen Stewart affair with Rupert Sanders went on for more than 6 months says Liberty Ross brother.

It was more than just a few stolen kisses in the parking lot….

In her public apology to boyfriend, Robert Pattinson regarding her dalliance with “Snow White and the Huntsman,” director Rupert Sanders, Kristen Stewart  was adamant in her assertion that it was only a ‘momentary indiscretion.’

That though according to Leopold Ross, brother of Sander’s wife,Liberty Ross couldn’t be further from the truth as last weekend he has come out and told Brit newspaper,  The People, that the fling was more than just a few stolen kisses in a parking lot and in fact an ongoing affair that went for better than six months:

“It was from the last half of filming and all through post-production, clear into last week.”

With the movie having been shot from September 19 to December 10, 2011, meaning that the affair actually began last fall, according to Leopold.

According to the journal, Sanders’ wife, Liberty Ross, who plays Kristen’s mother in the Snow White movie, believes the fling started during filming last year and carried on until 2012. She also goes on to mention how she saw the pair looking admirably at one-another during the premier of the film, further fuelling her suspicions.

Leopold also spoke about how his sister Liberty had sacrificed a lot for her husband, uprooting their young family to Hollywood to give his film career a chance:

“She made some sacrifices for something she thought was worth it, now she knows, right? Five minutes from her home. Doubt it was worth it but it’s life.”

“It might actually make things better in the long run. She wasn’t that happy for a while, but our family is close, she’ll be all right.”

Who might not be all right in the long run now is Kristen Stewart if her web of deceit is proven to be more than just a momentary indiscretion but a full fledged affair.

Can you guess who this cutie is?

Who is this?

This girl has the cutest chubby cheeks!

The mystery celeb this week is a girl who's gorgeous not only not, but when she was little too. She has such big eyes!

Here are some clues:

• On her last vacation, she was spotted relaxing on a yacht.

• She's lost a very important family member.

• There are rumors she might be getting back with an ex.

Do you have any idea who it could be?

Monday, July 30, 2012

How To know You Are Falling In Love

 Love or no love, grass doesn’t get greener! How do you know you’re in love? In most people falling in love is a frame of mind, a mentality marked by a feeling of general elation. Falling in love is known to be one of the most beautiful feelings you ever experience. Or at least falling in love for the first time is! So are you in love? Check yourself out for these indications of falling in love.

How To know You Are Falling In Love

People often ask whether the signs of falling in love are different for men as compared to the signs seen and experienced by women. Frankly, I don’t think so. The signs don’t depend on the gender of the person, they depend on the type of person the man or woman falling in love is. For example, a dreamy person may experience different signs of falling in love than a realistic one. So what are the signs of falling in love? The following questionnaire is a rough guide for all of you, whether realistic or dreamy, on whether you see these signs of falling in love in yourself. So the grass, the roses and the cheesiness aside, here’s a questionnaire about the typical signs of being in love.

»Do you feel butterflies (happy, not anxiety butterflies. Know the difference?) in your stomach every time you see the person or talk to him/her?

»So you feel like talking to him/her all the time, getting to know that person better, their likes and dislikes, and their deepest secrets? Listening is fine, do you feel like sharing your choices and secrets without being asked to?

»Does seeing that person bring a natural, inexplicable smile to your face?

»Do your friends think you ramble too much about just one person all the time?

»Do you share a comfort with them like you have never shared before with someone of the opposite sex?

»Do you worry for them, how they are, and are they fine?

»Do you sometimes sit back and think about all the good times the two of you have had together? Do you get all nostalgic and start smiling to yourself illogically?

»Do you often find yourself giving in to the decisions or choices made by him/her? For example, say you want to do B over the weekend but he/she wants to do Z which you completely hate. Would you go ahead with it uncomplainingly?

»Have you suddenly become a real good listener?

»Do you feel comfortable in appearing psychologically or sexually vulnerable to him/her?

»Do you find most things you cared for a lot before peripheral and secondary to his/her needs?

»Have you stopped looking at other guys/girls when you’re with him/her?

»Do you feel compelled to text her a ‘good night’ each night, perhaps accompanied with a sweet quote or poem?

If the answer to most of these questions is yes, then perhaps you are falling in love with this person!

But more than any of the above indications of falling in love, the most reliable one is that YOU yourself know it! You can feel it yourself. An unbelievable desire to talk to, to meet and to be with that person! And a feeling of emptiness when he/she isn’t there.

Funny Picture Of The Day

This is weird and hilarious.

50 Things That Girls Should Know About Guys

1. Guys aren’t psychic, mind telling them what you mean?

2. Guys don’t like to be used as pawns in trying to make your friends jealous.

3. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. Better watch out girls.

4. The biggest turn off for guys is to see girls smoking.

5. The biggest turn on for guys are the girls who workout.

6. Girls who don’t want to listen to the truth shouldn’t be asking any questions.

7. Ending a heated conversation with “Fine” or “Whatever” isn’t considered acceptable.

8. If you want sex, just ask.

9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. It takes 10 couples to come up with one sweet thing that they put up in the movies.

10. Only models are able to carry off most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.

11. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

13. Guys need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

14. Guys don’t care about how gorgeous you are, it’s goodbye, adios, and sayonara if you’re being a bitch.

15. All guys are kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let them know.

16. Guys are more emotional than you think. If they loved you at one point, it’ll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

17. A guy would do just about anything to get you to notice him.

18. Guys do not look into minute detailing. So, if you gave up a quarter of an inch from your 20 inches long hair, don’t expect your guy to know that instantly.

19. Guys like porn!

20. Anything said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

21.  “The game is on” will be considered an acceptable excuse to postpone any serious conversations.

22. Cooking makes a girl all the more attractive.

23. You can’t get mad if your guy refuses to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of his good-looking friends.

24. Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control, unless operating means handing it to him.

25. The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”

26. Video games have helped men develop awesome finger skills that only encourage them to play more often.

27. Critiquing a man’s driving is outright unacceptable.

28. Guys’ night outs are sacred events. If you ask any question about it, you’ll be castigated.

29. Believe it or not, 99.5% of the time men honestly don’t mean to hurt you.

30. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

31. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.

32. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

33. Don’t hold it against your guy if he starts to cry after a good sports movie, and was laughing outrageously last night when the two of you were watching an emotional drama saga.

34. Leaving a message like “You know what?! Mmm… Never mind…” would make a guy hanging on to that thought all day long and reach a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. Don’t ever do that!

35. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

36. Guys love you more than you love them.

37. No matter how much guys talk about hotness or sex appeal, personality is key.

38. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

39. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

40. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

41. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

42. You like when your guy calls and asks you out for dinner and pays for you, right? Well yeah, guys like it once in a while too.

43. It’s natural for a guy’s eyes to wander.

44. It’s not that guys don’t want to make their girlfriends happy; it’s just that sometimes, they don’t know how.

45. A guy would give his right arm to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

46. Not all guys are jerks. Just because one is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents all of them.

47. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he isn’t doing it all for sex. It means he likes you more than you can imagine.

48. Even if you dumped a guy months ago and he loved you, he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be to have you back in his life.

49. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

50. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over novels and make-ups.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

New Video: Beremole – Adey ft Tiwa Savage

I love this tune. Beremole by adey ft tiwa savage, with cameos appearances by Iyanya, Steel, Tunde Ednut, Praiz, Shank, Flowssickk, and Threat King. Enjoy this video 

Dakore Akande is back!!! Set to feature in new movie ‘Journey to Self’

I’m sure I speak for most people when I say we’ve missed seeing our lovely Dakore Egbuson-Akande in Nigerian movies. Well, the good news is she’s back. Dakore recently featured in a movie titled Journey to Self. The movie also features other acts such as Kalu Ikeagwu, Nse Ikpe Etim, Ashionye Ugboh-Racah, Femi Jacobs, Toyin Sido, Catherine Edoho and was directed by Tope Oshin Ogun.

Fashion: The Latest Lace And Ankara Trends In Nigeria

Nigeria latest trend, Ankara at its finest

7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them

Here's how to resolve the most common relationship problems and get your love life back on track.

It's the rare couple that doesn't, sooner or later, run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time what those relationship problems can be, you'll have a much better chance of weathering the storm.
Ideally, a couple should discuss certain basic issues -- such as money, sex, and kids -- before they decide to start their life together. Of course, even when you do discuss these issues beforehand, marriage (or a long-term, live-in relationship) is nothing like you think it's going to be.
In spite of the fact that every marriage experiences relationship issues, successful couples have learned how to manage them and keep their love life going. They gain success in marriage by hanging in there, tackling problems, and learning how to maneuver through the complex issues of everyday married life. Many do this by reading self-help books, attending seminars, browsing articles on the Web, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply by trial and error.
Here are some common issues and ways to resolve them:

Relationship Problem: Communication

All relationship problems stem from poor communication skills,You can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section.
Problem-solving strategies:
  • Make time ... yes, an actual appointment with each other. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.
  • If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant, where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
  • Set up some rules ... like not interrupting until the other is through, banning phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ..."
  • Remember that a large part of communication is listening, so be sure your body language reflects that. That means, don't doodle, look at your watch, pick at your nails, etc. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message and rephrase if necessary, such as, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm, and if what the other person really meant was, hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you, perhaps they'll say so but in a nicer way.

Relationship Problem: Sex

Even partners who love each other can be incompatible sexually. Compounding these problems, is the fact that men and women alike are sorely lacking in sex education and sexual self-awareness. Yet, having sex is one of the last things we should be giving up, Sex brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.
Problem-solving strategies:
  • Plan, plan, plan. Make an appointment -- not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap. Or perhaps a "before-work quickie, Or ask Grandma and Grandpa to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation, adding that mixing things up a bit can increase your sexual enjoyment as well. Why not sex in the kitchen? Sex by the fire? Sex standing up in the hallway?
  • learning what truly turns your partner on by asking him or her to come up with a personal "Sexy List." And, of course, you do the same. What do each of you truly find sexy? "The answers may surprise you." Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.
  • If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, consulting a qualified sex therapist, who can help you both address and resolve your issues.

Relationship Problem: Money

Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are said, from the expenses of courtship to the high cost of weddings. Couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.
Problem-solving strategies:
  • Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle that was possible before the loss of income is simply unrealistic.
  • Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both parties.
  • Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understanding that there are benefits to both, and agreeing to learn from each others tendencies.
  • Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
  • Don't blame.
  • Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
  • Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
  • Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.
  • Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.
  • Talk about caring for your parents as they age, and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs, if necessary.

    Relationship Problem: Struggles Over Home Chores

    Nowadays, most partners work outside the home -- and in today's economy -- often at more than one job, so it's important to equitably divide the labor at home.
    Problem-solving strategies:
  • Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair: Make sure each partner's tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.
  • Be open to other solutions: If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. As long as it feels fair to both people, you can be creative and take preferences into account.

Relationship Problem: Not Prioritizing Your Relationship

If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point does not end when you say "I do"So make yours a priority."
Problem-solving strategies:
  • Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Make gestures of appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
  • Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
  • Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate ... ." It lets your partner know that he/she matters.

Relationship Problem: Conflict

Occasional conflict is an inevitable part of life, but if you and your partner feel like you are starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day, it's time to break free of this toxic routine. Recognizing these simple truths will lessen anger and enable you to take a calm look at the underlying issue.
Problem-solving strategies:
Conflict resolution skills can help you and your partner learn to argue in a more constructive manner.
  • You are not a victim. It is your choice whether to react and how to react.
  • Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments directed toward resolution, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.
  • Change it up. If you continue to respond in the same way that has brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
  • Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.
"You can't control anyone else's behavior. "The only one in your charge is you."

Relationship Problem: Trust

Trust is an essential part of a relationship. Are there certain behaviors that are causing you to not trust your partner, or do you have unresolved issues that are hindering you from trusting others?
Problem-solving strategies: You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips.
  • Be consistent.
  • Be on time.
  • Do what you say you will do.
  • Don't lie -- not even little white lies, to your partner or to others.
  • Be fair, even in an argument.
  • Be sensitive to the others feelings. You can still disagree but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
  • Call when you say you will.
  • Call to say you'll be home late.
  • Carry your fair share of the workload.
  • Don't overreact when things go wrong.
  • Never say things you can't take back.
  • Don't dig up old wounds.
  • Respect your partner's boundaries.
  • Don’t be jealous.
  • Be a good listener.
Although relationships have their ups and downs, there are things you can both do that may well minimize marriage problems, if not help avoid them altogether, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. "Ask for what you need directly.
Use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. And be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that it will be better with someone else; the same problems you have in this relationship because of lack of skills will still exist.

Aging Skin: 7 HabitsThat Make Skin Age Faster These lifestyle choices contribute to aging skin

Many of the external causes of aging skin are determined by the health and lifestyle decisions you make every day. Making unhealthy choices can cause prematurely aging skin, and this makes you look older, faster.

An important part of any anti-aging skin care program is to know what you may be doing that is harming your skin and speeding up your skin's aging process.

Here are 7 habits that contribute to aging skin, making you look older than your years:
1. Cigarette smoke: Whether you smoke, or you spend time with a smoker, cigarette smoke is damaging -- and aging -- to your skin. Research has shown that exposure to cigarette smoke significantly increases skin wrinkles and dryness. This is partly due to the behavior of smoking, and also because cigarette smoke depletes your body of Vitamin C, which is a key ingredient for keeping skin plump and moist.
Some researchers believe that exposure to cigarette smoke (whether you smoke or not) is as damaging to aging skin as exposure to the sun's ultraviolet rays.

2. Sun exposure: Sun exposure is very aging to skin. Unprotected skin that is exposed to the sun becomes more mottled in appearance. Freckles can turn into brown sun spots, the skin takes on a dry, leathery appearance, and wrinkles and sagging increase. The risk of skin cancer is significantly increased by sun exposure. The good news is that sun damage is avoidable, and if you start now, you can improve the condition of sun damaged skin. See your health care provider to assess the amount of sun damage you may have, and to rule out possible skin cancers. He or she may be able to prescribe medication that can help to reduce existing sun damage. If you want to avoid aging skin but don’t want to avoid the sun, make sure you use sunscreen that protects against both UVA and UVB rays. Choose sunscreen with SPF of 15 or higher, and use it all year-round, even on cloudy days. Clouds do not protect you from ultraviolet ray exposure.

3. Lack of exercise: Living a sedentary life contributes to aging skin, because exercise helps to tone your muscles and get your blood flowing. Exercise should be an important part of every anti-aging skin care program. Researchers have also discovered that sedentary older adults are at higher risk for dementia .
In addition to the physical benefits of exercise, the benefits of a regular exercise program will show on your face. Having a bright smile and lots of energy will help you look and feel younger, at any age.

4. Exposure to cold weather: Cold winds and low temperatures contribute to aging skin by making skin dry, so if you venture out in the cold be sure to use a good moisturizer.
It’s important to use moisturizer indoors too, as heated rooms can be very drying to skin. Consider using a humidifier to help keep your skin more comfortable and reduce the aging skin effects of heated rooms.

5. Alcohol use: Alcohol contributes to aging skin by dilating small blood vessels in the skin and increasing blood flow near the skin's surface. Over time, these blood vessels can become permanently damaged, creating a flushed appearance and broken vessels on the skin’s surface.

6. Stress: Maybe you’ve heard this expression: “Don’t frown, your face could stay that way.” Stress and worry cause frowning, and over time the muscles in the face actually conform to that movement.
To help reduce aging skin due to stress, be aware of your stress level and try to vary your facial expressions during the day. A good anti-aging skin care program should include meditation, yoga, gentle exercise or other relaxation techniques. Keeping stress in check -- and frown lines and aging skin wrinkles to a minimum -- will help you look and feel younger.

7. Lack of sleep: Too little sleep makes you look and feel tired. One of the first places lack up sleep shows up is on the face, with dark circles and bags under the eyes, and sagging skin. Lack of sleep is also a major factor in memory loss and symptoms of depression that include low interest in daily activities and negative thinking.
Research has shown that most adults function best with 8-9 hours of sleep each night. Reduce caffeine during the day (with none in the evening), avoid eating at least 2 hours before bedtime, and maintain a sleep routine that includes going to bed at the same time each night. For more sleeping tips, see How to Get a Good Night's Sleep.

If you are having trouble sleeping, for any reason, it’s important to see your health care provider.
While some signs of aging skin are inevitable, there’s a lot you can do to look your best at any age. Taking good care of yourself is the most important step in your anti-aging skin care program.

Good Sex Is Good for Relationships

 Evolutionary psychology have a fascination with what they affectionately call "human mating." Obviously, sex and sexuality is an important part of human experience, and it is important to have a theoretical framework for trying to understand sex differences in sexual strategies. Plus, if the headlines splashed on supermarket magazine covers are to be believed, we all like to read about sex, so it makes for good reading.Unfortunately, many evolutionary approaches take a fairly narrow view of sexuality, by starting with the role of sex in reproduction. This discussion needs to be broadened.
To caricature the evolutionary psychology approach to human mating, these views assume that animals with internal conception (like humans) require a larger parental investment by the female than by the male. Thus, males should be prone to mate with many females to try to maximize the probability of conception. Because conception is internal, there is paternity uncertainty, so females should try to get the best genes possible for their future offspring, but should also try to gain resources from males to support the unborn children.

Unfortunately, a lot of human behavior gets missed by this approach. Lots of people stay married for a long time. Couples that are the happiest tend to be those with the best sex lives. People continue to have sex long after they are able to conceive children.
An interesting study in the November, 2008 issue of Psychological Science by Christian Unkelbach, Adam Guastella, and Joseph Forgas helps shine a light on an aspect of sexuality that is under-appreciated in many discussions of sex that come out of evolutionary psychology.
They did a study on a group of men who were given either a dose of oxytocin or a placebo. Oxytocin is a chemical that is released in men and women during orgasm. It plays other roles as well, but we'll focus on that one for now.
The men in this study were then given a recognition test for positive and negative words related to sex, relationships, other positive emotions, and words unrelated to positive emotion at all. This recognition test was set up to determine the degree of accessibility of the words. As frequent readers of this blog will remember, concepts that are more accessible tend to have a stronger influence on behavior than concepts that are less accessible.
This study observed that oxytocin made positive words related to sex and relationships more accessible relative to the placebo condition. Other words (including words for positive emotions) were not influenced. This finding suggests that oxytocin release will make it easier for men to act in a positive and loving way toward their sexual partners. This study was done only with men, but similar kinds of results have been obtained with women as well.
So, it is important to recognize that sex plays an important role in strengthening relationships in a way that goes above and beyond mere procreation. To be clear, I am not saying that the principles that evolutionary psychologists use are all wrong, only that the discussion needs to be broadened.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Rihanna flaunts sculpted physique in hot pink bikini aboard luxury yacht

Body confident Rihanna flaunted her sculpted physique as she soaked up the sun aboard a luxury yacht in the south of France.

Rihanna looked radiant in her skimpy bikini as she holidayed with friends in France
 The S&M singer looked stunning in a skimpy hot pink bikini as she frolicked with friends aboard the plush boat she has been staying on for the past few weeks.
The 24-year-old Bajan stood pensively in the afternoon sun while a friend tended to her tumbling brunette locks.

The Bajan beauty wound down with a cocktail

RiRi went make-up free as she sipped cocktails and laughed with her cohort in the French heat, taking time out to admire the spectacular view through a pair of binoculars.
She accessorised her laid-back look with her usual delicate body chain and big diamond earrings.

The Rude Boy singer has been staying aboard a luxury yacht she chartered for the past few weeks
Earlier in the week the singer donned a plunging one-piece as she watched her friends take a dip in the sea while sipping on a bottle of beer. The singer looked incredibly glamorous in bright red lipstick, unusual gold rimmed sunglasses and her usual jewellery.

 She looked elegant in red earlier in the week
And with a figure like that it's no wonder DJ Calvin Harris admitted in a recent interview that he was intimidated by her when they worked together on their hit single We Found Love.
The Scottish music maker told Q Magazine RiRi tried to befriend him but he felt too awkward around her.

RiRi drank beer and smoked while her friends took a dip
 Asked whether they got close to one another when they worked on the 2001 track, he said: 'Not very at all, but that's my own fault because I'm really awkward around her.
'It's bad. She's tried. She's like, 'Yeah, come on and hang out in my dressing room.' I'm like, 'Arrrgh!' I mean, what do I say to Rihanna? There's nothing! She's great, she's well friendly, she's nice, I see that. But? I can't.'

Five Jaw-Droppers From the 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony

I'm sure you have your own favorite moments from the Opening Ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics. Are they the same as mine?
1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service: The filmed bit with Daniel Craig as James Bond going on a mission with Queen Elizabeth II herself (compete with ferocious guard corgis), followed by a stunt-Queen and a stunt-Bond parachuting from a helicopter over the stadium and then capped off by the Her Majesty appearing in the royal box...well, it showed tremendous good humor on the Queen's part. I am amused.
2. Royal Air Force: Those parachutes weren't the only mode of aerial travel on display at the Olympic Stadium. We were also treated to the airborne arrival of multiple Mary Poppinses, as well as a squadron of jet packs.
Opening Ceremony, London Olympic Games
3. Feast Your Eyes. The overall visuals from the ceremony were stunning, and of incredible variety: fireworks, guys on bicycles dressed as giant glow-in-the-dark doves, a massive Voldemort. But perhaps the most impressive feat was the set change between the idyllic pastoral era and the industrial age, with giant smokestacks rising from the middle of the field, and then a pretty darn convincing river of molten steel flowing through them to forge an Olympic ring.
Opening Ceremony, David Beckham
4. Ladies and Gentlemen, David Beckham: Despite the fact that the U.K.'s most famous athlete wasn't chosen for his country's Olympic team, Becks graciously agreed help out with the opening ceremony—looking smashing as ever in a sharp suit while at the controls of a speedboat.
Team Great Britain, London Olympic Opening Ceremony
5. The Next Generation. Speaking of athletes, the choice to give the final cauldron-lighting honors to seven little-known, up-and-coming teen athletes from the U.K. was an unusual but classy move on the part of director Danny Boyle, ending the pageantry with a touch of populism. Well played, Mr. Boyle. Let the games begin

Funmi Iyanda turns 41

Award winning media personality, Funmilola Iyanda is strolling gently, quietly, into the elders’ club.
The talk show host-turned documentary maker clocked 41 on Friday, July 27, 2012 and has since been receiving congratulatory messages from fans and friends. One of such is popular VJ, Denrele Edun who congratulated her via micro blogging site, Twitter, ’I mst b stark ravin MAD! I almost forgot!HAPIBUFDY @Funmilola Wen she talks,a Tsunami starts!Wen she wants sum ice-cream,she eats Antartica!’ @ DENRELE_EDUN tweeted.
Funmi, who graduated with a BSc degree in Geography from the University of Ibadan, started her media practice with the production of Good Morning Nigeria show which was followed by New Dawn in 2000. Shortly after, Funmi started Talk with Funmi, directed by Chris Dada. The new show toured several states sampling opinions of Nigerians on events and happenings.
She is also a renowned journalist and filmmaker, with her recent documentary which was inspired by the Subsidy era, nominated for the BANFF award in Canada.
She was recently named by Forbes as one of the 20 youngest powerful women in Africa

Disturbing video of 9 year old boy attacking toddlers at daycare center

 For those who haven't seen this video yet, please watch! A 9 year old boy attacks two infants at a daycare center...

Tonto Dike stakes N1m in Twitter competition

In a rare show of celebrity philanthropy, using audience engagement, Nollywood actress, Tonto Dike has announced she’s giving out N1m t one lucky Twitter fan.
The controversial actress made the announcement on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 on Twitter, as she kicked off a competition asking fans to decode the meaning of one of her favourite slangs ‘POKO’.
According to her, her twitter slang, POKO means a lot to her and she’s willing to reward whoever decodes its meaning.
‘Any1 who Decodez wat Poko iz I’ll gv u a million buckz*if u do get it corectly U’lL ve 2prove it’z source**Coz Ma Poko meanz alot2 mi*#POKO’, @Tontolet tweeted.
Tonto, 27, has recently become popular for her philanthropic gestures which she has demonstrated through social media and elsewhere.

When Your Heart & Mind Disagree About The Break-Up

How long will it be before you can get through your daily routine without feeling the wave of pain sweep over you, without sensing that knot in the pit of your stomach, and without dwelling on what went wrong? If these are some of the questions you are asking yourself, you are not alone.

A broken heart can cause such an intense reaction that you may feel your life has been completely stripped of meaning. Jobs, hobbies, and friends may no longer hold any joy. In fact, some of us even experience physical pain with a tight chest, nervous stomach, or terrible insomnia. “Time heals all wounds” is something we have all heard over the years, but do you really have to wait for time to heal these wounds? Absolutely not. There are steps you can take to alleviate the pain you feel. These steps were developed by people who have endured the pain of a difficult break-up and sought a better way to heal.

Whether you are 22 or 62, the first step is to determine from which type of broken heart you currently suffer. That’s right – there are actually 4 different types of broken hearts. Several factors determine the type of broken heart you may be enduring right now including your relationship history, the type of relationship and the reasons for the break-up, among others. Once you know where your heart stands, you will receive customized healing advice.

Okay, so where should you start? Start with the first healing step – the survey – to see where you stand. Get an instant, on screen evaluation. The survey contains 16-questions and can be completed in about 2 minutes. If you’re ready to see which of the 4 types of broken heart you suffer from, then let’s go.

When Your Heart & Mind Disagree About The Break-Up

You are sitting with your cell phone staring at a text message you wrote to your ex hours ago. You debate whether to send it or not. You stare at your phone while your mind tells you to have more respect for yourself. You logically understand that sending the message is not going to make the situation any better – nor will it heal your pain. Then your heart enters the scene and overpowers your mind. Your heart says, “Go ahead, send it, you will feel better…temporarily at least.”

The scenario above represents one example of a misalignment between your heart and your mind that is a common occurrence after a break up. Every decision you make is determined by a combination of your logic and emotion. If these different elements that make you who you are happen to conflict, you will understandably feel conflicted and make decisions that reflect this turmoil.

The concept of alignment will help you understand why you may have been in a relationship that was not good enough for you. It will also help you understand how to use your logic to help heal your broken heart. Let’s look at some more examples of what happens when your heart and mind disagree with one another.

Scenario 1 – During the Relationship

Your mind says, “I deserve more – this relationship is not right.”
Your heart says, “Stay, it will work out.”

If you were in a relationship where it was obvious that you were not receiving the love, respect, and engagement that you deserve, then your mind was probably nudging you during the relationship and asking you, “Why are we still here?” You remained in that relationship for longer than you should have because your heart believed that your mate and relationship could change.

Your heart believed that it was better to be in a relationship that was mediocre than to be alone. Your heart was saying to you, “Hey, give it a chance, it’s not that bad.” Your mind and heart were not aligned and this probably led to fighting, to an internal struggle, and eventually the break up. Often when we want more from a relationship than we are getting, we continually try to get ‘more’ by attempting to change the person we are with or by forcing other changes in the relationship. This is generally a destructive path.

Scenario 2 – During the Relationship

Your heart says, “This relationship is everything I need.”
Your mind says, “There are red flags here that I shouldn’t ignore.”

When one partner in a relationship is not happy, they usually provide indications either verbally, in the form of passive-aggressive behavior, or via non-verbal actions of their discontent. If you are the other partner that is madly in love, you do actually receive the red flags as signals in your mind. Unfortunately, your heart overpowers your logic in this case. Your heart speaks so loudly about how in love you are and how perfect everything is, that you drown out the messages your mind has received.

Eventually, after the break up, it is easier to see the red flags were present in your relationship. You also may realize that some of the reason you were deeply attached to your ex was because you loved the idea of being in love. If you relate to this scenario, remember, you deserve a love with equal give and take. Reciprocity is essential to the success of a relationship and you should never have to convince someone to love you as much as you love them.

Scenario 3 – After the Break Up

Your mind says, “I am going to be okay. In fact, before long, I’m going to feel like myself.”
Your heart says, “The pain is excruciating, I don’t think I will ever feel at peace again.”

After your break up, if you sit quietly and listen to your inner voice, you will hear hope inside. This hope is telling you that you will feel better, that you will live life once again with passion, and that you will experience love once again. The information you are being sent from your mind  is based on your history and the fact that you have overcome obstacles in the past. Your mind remembers the times where you have faced adversity and have come out on the other side stronger and brighter. Your heart is speaking out of fear; listen to your mind – it has a strong basis for giving you hope.

Listen to words from friends, family, and counselors even if they do not feel like they are helping to heal your broken heart. Every single word helps. Listen to every word someone with experience has to tell you. Up until now, we haven’t discussed the subconscious mind. Positive messages to your subconscious mind can overpower negative ones from your heart. Everything you are reading and listening to about healing is entering your subconscious and will help you heal faster.

Above I have discussed the logical mind being overpowered by a somewhat illogical heart. Please note, the situation can certainly occur in reverse. Your heart may experience genuine love yet have seeds of doubt planted by an insecure mind. In either situation, if you are looking to heal your heartache from your current break up, please know it is possible.